God and me !!

27 Feb 2015

God and me !

My life is full of miracles!  I wonder how perfectly god made me..  though I am not so happy about my looks n all those that he blessed me with,  when i see a blind person or a handicapped person i thank him for making me so  perfect !

I have this strong connection with him.. no matter what happens,  i let him control my life..  It might be silly but i still ask god for miracles / signs to express his involvement in my life.. There are days which i know is going to be tough (both in professional n personal) but i ask him to give me d strength to face  d situation  n trust me.. Most of d times d situation changes and i don’t need to face it at all..

There were situations in my life which cud really go wrong.. not one but many!!  I experienced him changing d plans for me.. I can talk nonstop on d blessings that he showered on me..

The photo frame at our house has a lot of effect in my life.. I seriously can talk to the photo, at times i fight with him for not allowing me for something that i wanted.. Sometimes it’s all about complaining..  sometimes it’s just d 'why me'... then few days i don’t sit on d specific sofa n look at him nor talk to him... but then in two days  i go back to him...

I wonder how can i give back even a small part of d blessings.. i know his plans are always d best for me and wud wait for his next call!

 

Being a mom !

Being a mom!

I would think often that I would be the perfect mom to be my child whenever it happens..  But somehow after giving birth and seeing her growing I realise my mom is the  perfect one !

Being a mom is not an easy task.. it’s a great responsibility, every mom wants their child to be the perfect ones around, but circumstances or situations make them to teach the same thing in different ways !

Ha I seriously on praise for my mom raising four of us sacrificing many things in life, I never appreciated her in anyway, I always thought she is not smart.. but when face challenge managing my only teenage daughter Sherin I think of my mom.. how she managed all of us ! 

She is never a good cook.. but still I long to have her beef curry n fish curry.. I realise how hard it was when I criticised her cooking skills.. its took really long time for me to know the feeling though ! Even Sherin doesn’t like my cooking at all ( I am really a pathetic cook!) after taking so much effort and cook something and Sherin manages with bread and egg I get the feeling that my mom had all these years !

Mom alwasys wanted me to be independent and would insist us to wash the plate and make the bed (well remember her watching us with a stick in her hand!) and I would cry and complaint that she doesn’t love me… but now when stand behind Sherin, I know she must be cursing for being rude, but I smile with the thinking of being appreciated on a later date!

I realised each time she said ‘No’ there was a reason behind it at times which couldn’t be explained but it took years to understand this silly logic…  

I remember telling my mom that she doesn’t understand me or my feelings as a teenage girl,  she replied nothing but I saw the tears corner of her eyes.. Today when Sherin tells me I remember the tears all the time.. I too don’t reply but I know she will also have to go through the same feeling one day in her life time! 

I always wanted my mom to change, I wanted her to become modern, I never appreciated about anything that she did for me but I always thought it’s her responsibility!

This day I understand a mom need not be perfect, it’s not necessary that she acts as per our wish, she give me the gifts that I longed for.. her life is all about making her children  perfect, making you happy sacrificing number of things in her life.. Pretending to show as if we know nothing about a tnage childs life is about (teenage children feels that they know better than anyone around!)

I wait patiently for sherin to get married and being a mom to get all my dues!  Though it’s too long wait  (min 10 yrs) 😀😀