Can a mom in-law be a mom!

2^nd March 2015

I still remember well d previous day of my marriage,  the girls.. asha, bindhu, najla all  of them rounded in my room to advise me about  my new life... 'if you handle you mom inlaw well things will be smooth' asha the eldest among us advised.  

I had lots of worries about my new life.. being brought up in kerala and getting married to a mumbai boy was a real big step in my life..  but somehow i  knew 'gods plan for me' will never fail.

To be frank i dint know how to make even 'tea' (forget about making a good meal)  to impress my in laws.. 

It dint take  many days to realise and accept my mother in law as my mother .. Maybe she was more than a mother, her waving from the third floor and waiting for me in the evening at the same place is still fresh in my memory!

 As the time passed, I learned everything from her, my free time both of us would go for shopping, I cannot forget this--  each time she buys a gift for Naina (my sil) she would buy for me too.. often we would stand near kitchen window and talk nonstop.. one of our favourite subject was that  ‘how a mom in law and daughter in law can even think of fighting’ !

Years passed.. Things changed.. Financial position changed.. Life style changed so as relations.. i suddenly realised the need to settle down life..   In the rush of life we found lesser time to talk..  

We never fought but something was missing from the relation..   we shifted after few years... she would come and stay with us often and helped us to settle down in life..  somehow the relation was completely changed.. our small life was completely forgotten and now our discussion will be more on ‘what we did new.. or what we brot new.. how many servants and things like that’…   

The most hurting thing is she completely forgot those days.. the life we had.. the party that we celebrated.. I kept on thinking what could be the reason for all these changes?? is it money ?? is it the lifestyle?? I still don’t have answers for many of my queries..

We still talk so much.. I discuss with her almost everything, she gives me gifts, may be more than she gives to her own daughter.. I can feel the soft corner for me all the time.. but still I feel I can never accept the new mummy… I still long for the old mom with her real affection..

During one of the hot discussions during lunch time, we argued a lot about the relationships.. that’s when it clicked me,  my mom tells me things n i accept it but at the same time when mom in-law says the same thing, I end up thinking too much and would end up its negative points !   same thing happens when i tell her something... she feels I said the specific thing because I am a daughter in-law!

The bottom line is how much ever we try and accept our mom in laws at certain points we need to accept that she is not your mom!  Though they treat us like their own daughters in every way they get hurt when we say something though we told it for their good!